Koban

So I decided to enter the world of Japanese bureacracy and file a police report on my stolen wallet. As I stepped in the police station, I was greeted by two policemen who seemed to have more than a little free time on their hands. In my crappy and broken Japanese, I tried to explain what had happened. The younger police officer took down every detail, as the older one dictated which forms he should be filling out. Actually, the first guy wrote down everything on a scratch piece of paper, then transfered the information onto the actual police report...in pencil, THEN wrote over the report in pen and erased the pencil marks with his Muji eraser. Let's just say I was not surprised that even police officers in Japan have their own pencil pouches.

Everything seemed to be going well until it came to the issue of where I worked. They asked where I worked and about the BOE (Board of Education) but I had no idea what they wanted to get out of me, so I called Jeff. Jeff spoke to them briefly and when I got back on the phone with him, he said he didn't quite understand what they wanted, either. That's when I called my supervisor, Mr. Goino. I really didn't want to bother him with this but I was left with no choice. I called Mr. Goino and he spoke to the older officer for 15 minutes. Mr. Goino was able to give them what they wanted....a Japanese title for my job as an ALT, none of which included the word, "sensei," in it. Even these officers questioned the status of my job as an ALT. Sad. Everything else they spoke about was gibberish that comes along with Japanese bureacracy, so it seemed. Surprisingly, Mr. Goino was very nice and offered to help me with replacing some of the lost cards.

At the end of writing the report, the younger officer pointed out the few minor errors that were made...spelling errors, that is. Instead of initialing the parts that had errors, I was asked for my fingerprint on each individual error. By the time this was done, my police report looked as though I had completed a kindergarten finger-painting project.

After the police report, the officers put on their rain gear. I was escorted to the back of the police car, which turned out to be no different than any 4-door sudan, and driven 100 feet to the scene of the crime. With one hand holding my umbrella and the other holding the end of a tape measure, I stood in the rain while one officer pulled the tape measure at various angles while the other took down the measurements. After that, I was finally set free. Who would've thought that filing a police report for a stolen wallet would take nearly 2 hours and have me auditioning for an episode of CSI?

I arrived back to my apartment and about an hour later, I get a call. I was hoping that, miraculously, there'd be some good news. However, the koban was just calling to let me know that there had been an error in my police report and I was asked if they could stop by my apt. Seeing that I had no plans to go outside in the pouring rain in the near future, I said yes. Four hours later, the younger officer rings my doorbell and immediately starts apologizing, as you do if you are Japanese. He then shows me the police report and points out a spelling error that had not been caught while I was at the police station. Oh, the horror. He then took out his mini-ink-pad and asked for my fingerprint on the error. Once that was done, there was more apologizing, then he left. I swear I am not making this up.

So there you go, boys and girls, that's what it's like to file a police report in Japan...for a stolen wallet. I cannot imagine the process for a much more pressing issue. But hey, at least they genuinely seemed to care, right? =P